tug of war between the ones who brought me into this world.
i cannot compare..one who left when i was barely 1 yr old to another who took me back.
the one who took me back too was never around, my besties were his parents and brothers.
i barely knew a lot about him besides where he worked, his friends were vague to me.
i had never hugged nor told him any of my personal life before in my life ( maybe when i was going to be outstation,at the airport, a farewell hug)
he paid for my papers yes it was but i think what i had given back was there and for my future kids, it will also be a responsibility of mine unless i am not able to.
he sided with the one who threw me out of the house not once but thrice.
i had never looked back after the 2nd time and basked in the warmth of my friends and boyfriend in those trying times.
when self was asked why does it seems that I do not care about this family anymore.
i stumbled at his words from over a decade out of their lives.
flash backs came to me:
“where were you when i needed to be in hospital for emergencies
“where were you when i was so out and down
“where were you when i had to burn mid night oil to have a better future
“where were you when i needed someone who was my family
sounds selfish but those who do not know my history will never know
and i do not like to be in a cross fire of any sides.